Friend of the Week: Jeremy Bauer

This is Jeremy Bauer. If he wrote this thing, he would talk about being birthed from an egg and some kind of devil and DOOM, but I'm writing this, so I'll say this: Jeremy is a cool guy. He writes cool poems. He wears cool shoes. He plays the saw for the Bonesetters, which is way cool. Speaking of the Bonesetters, the first time I saw them play, I was like woah, Jeremy is way confident playing that saw and egg shaker. Speaking of woah, I found out last night that Jeremy spells it "whoa." I think both ways are okay. Jeremy has this girlfriend, Amanda, she is nice too. She should probably be friend of the week as well, but I didn't want Jeremy to get all angry and destroy me. My wife and I like spending time with the two of them.I hear he wants to be a firefighter or something (See: the picture). Jeremy is super nice to me, and sometimes I don't know why. Woah.

Jeremy keeps a blog that you should check out. Jeremy is also the new blog intern for the BSU English Department blog.

I tried writing a poem that had the words doom, lightning, Cassandra, and lasers in honor of Jeremy:

Attention! Attention!
for Jeremy

We’d all spent the night dancing
to a country music cover band that played
“Ring of Fire” twice. I’m the only one who noticed.
Our spit-shined boots were now dusty. Our glossy eyes
were holding a lot of alcohol tears, like the sky holds
lightning. We kicked the gravel running
to Dan’s pick-up truck.

But, three people were passed out in the truck bed.
I knew two of them: Cousin Jeremy and his girlfriend
Amanda. The other man was shirtless. The parking lot
lights, like lasers, shone on the halos of green bottles
and beer cans around their heads. The word
DOOM was painted on the windshield.

Dan hollered, “Come on, Cassandra is waiting.”
I couldn’t remember who Cassandra was
or what she was waiting for, but I pressed my nose
to the cold window and said, “Dan, we can’t
they are sleeping and they look like angels.”
They could be prophets like Gabriel napping
under a tree. I kneeled in the dirt and Dan
drove away.